It would be funny if it wasn’t so tragic.  Bertie Ahern advises the Poland on how to avoid a financial crisis. The mantra is a familiar one:

It wasn’t me; it wasn’t us; how were we to know?  How could I be responsible?  Yeah, sure, we knew that banks had failed elsewhere and fecked their countries, but sure, it’s not the government’s job to have an understanding about how the financial system on which a country depends works.  That’s what banks are for.  Sure, if they pay themselves mega-bucks they must know what they are doing.  That’s why I was earning a fortune and have a massive pension even though I’m still working.  A reward like for good service.  Anyway, it’s not the government’s job to actually be running the country and setting finance policy and making sure the banks don’t feck us.  But even if it were, that would be the Central Banks role, not mine, and sure, they’re a law unto themselves, told me nothing – nothing.  It wasn’t my job to ask, they should have told me.  What, I had my eyes closed and was muttering la-la-la-la-la so I couldn’t hear?  Ha, ha.  What were you saying?  I didn’t hear you.  Only codding you.  But sure, the Irish people love me.  They know I’m a great fella.  Sure, they want me back, that’s why I’m thinking of running for President.  No, that wasn’t a joke.  I’m a great fella all round.  And I have a good solid base of votes – everyone I put on a state board.  Sure, if it wasn’t me we wouldn’t have had a Celtic Tiger in the first place and all those whinging right now would be in London or New York or Sydney or somewhere.  I didn’t make people lose the run of themselves.  I made this country what it is, but I’m in no way responsible for its collapse.  Sure, the only reason we’re in trouble is because of the damn American’s letting Lehman Brother’s collapse.  We’re the victims here, okay.  It’s a global crisis after all.  It’s not homegrown in the slightest.  And I’m as much a victim as anyone.  Really.  I’m suffering as much as anyone; god knows I’ve got time on my hands since I do feck all in the dail any more.  That’s why the President’s job is so right for me.  I can keep giving to the nation.  And if I mess up some protocol or cause a diplomatic incident, sure that’ll be someone else’s fault in any case.  After all, the job was made as a retirement jolly for great fellas.

Advertisements